by - November 12, 2011

Today has been a rough day. I woke up to my husband saying Brenna, come here and look. I look at our dog beds and there is blood on them. I knew it was from Tyson. His tumor has gotten big and I just knew it must have been bleeding so I went outside since Bran had let them out and looked and he was bleeding but not bad. He ate his breakfast then I called my Mom and she said I think you need to bring him in to be checked. I said I don't want to bring him in just to tell me he is dying. I know he is going to die from this I just don't see the point. I got off the phone and Bran went golfing with his buddy and I fed the baby then noticed Tyson was bleeding again. I put Ace in his pack n play and cleaned off his mouth and sat with him and called the vet to see about getting him pain meds. He said to bring him in since the tumor was in his mouth, he said pain meds won't help. I called my Mom and she said Dr. Stone won't put him to sleep if he doesn't think he needs to, he is good about that. So we brought him in and his assistant said he didn't look good, she said him breathing from one nostril is not a good thing and he sounded terrible. She was very sweet and I started crying and she gave me tissues and my Mom too. We both knew when Dr. Stone came in he was going to tell us we needed to put him to sleep. The second he came in and saw his tumor and heard him, he said I'm sorry but we have to put him to sleep. He is swallowing the blood and it's not going to stop bleeding. He will bleed to death if you take him home. We cried and they had me sign a paper and he said now come at his head and I just couldn't sit there and watch them put him to sleep. I felt like I was going to throw up. Even Dr. Stone said he could tell it was too much for us and he wasn't comfortable doing it with us there if we couldn't handle it. My mom stayed with him and then he asked me to come back so he could show me the tumor so I felt better about our decision to put him down and once I saw inside his mouth I knew we did what was right. I trust him very much so I knew when he said it that it was the right decision but this just sealed it. I felt bad looking into Tyson's eyes and leaving the room but he gave him something to go to sleep first then they put him to sleep for good. I miss him already and I wish he never got sick but he was an amazing dog and I am glad I got to spend those 5 and a half years with him. God gave me him because something was missing in my life I am sure of it and when I got pregnant with Ace he got sick so maybe it was God's way of making losing him easier. My precious baby boy sat and laughed and smiled and cheered me up and now he is sleeping and letting me mourn Tyson's loss.

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3 comments

  1. Oh Brenna, Im so sorry for your loss. I understand how you feel. I've had fur babies and loosing them has been horrible. I have two now and we love them so much. Just know in your heart that you gave him all the love in the world and at the end you made the right decision of not letting him suffer. ((hugs))

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  2. I'm crying with you reading this. I've been there before. :( Found your blog on my birth board - really appreciate your honesty.

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  3. Thank you both so much!
    Lola, I hope you are doing well!
    Amy, thanks for the comment. It is rough but I just keep telling myself we did what was best.

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