There's some things you expect to tell your kids:  Be nice, don't hit, use your inside voice.  But there are other things that you find yourself saying as a parent that you never dreamed would come out of your mouth.

The list below are 30 things my friends and I never expected to say to our kids...but we did.

Don't lick your brother.
Don't pet the spiders.  They bite.
Don't hang off the bunk bed by your feet!
Don't hide apple cores under your mattress!
Don't pee in the lego box...EVER!
We don't kiss the computer screen--even if there are cute puppies on it.
We don't lick spilled milk off the floor!
We don't eat electricity.
We don't chew on sandpaper.
No, we can't have cake for dinner.
No, you can't ride the dogs.
No, you may not go on the roof!
No, you can't slide down the fire tower railing!
No, we can't swing from the balcony
No, you can't hang a rope off the ceiling fan and swing from it.
Get off the refrigerator!
No feet on the toilet!
Food in the trash stays in the trash! 
Yes, that does make a circle...but don't bite me again.
Take my bra off your head...that's not a toy.
The toilet plunger is not a gun.  Put it back.
The kitchen knives are not pirate swords!
Lollypops are not for sharing.
My shirt is not a kleenex!
Toy planes can't really fly.  If you throw them off the balcony, they break.
I'm sorry, I can't kiss the boo-boo on your tongue.  Maybe a hug will do?
If you climb up the walls, you get to clean the footprints off.
You have to stop digging there--you're exposing the foundation of our house.
Larry the Cucumber and Bob the Tomato need to go back in the fridge now.
What do you mean you have gone to school all week without underwear!?


So, what's the strangest thing you've ever had to say to your children?

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