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Perfectly Imperfect Mom

Happy Friday!

Tonight we are heading to my family's Funeral Home to do a candle lighting for those who were lost in the past year, my parents being some of the people being remembered. My brother, sister and I are all going to be together to celebrate their lives. It's weird going to this event for them after so many years of it being done for others.

Saturday we are going to see my oldest bestie, Katie! I miss her so much. She has been like my big sister since I was 12 when we met. She is 4 years older than me and has always been very protective of me and just a great friend. Since she moved away too many years ago we don't get to see each other enough. I can't wait for her to meet Ashlyn.

Sunday we are going to head over to see Branden's sister Brooke and her daughters! Her daughter Josie is only 4 days younger than Ashlyn. How perfect is that for cousins? I can't wait for these two little girls, well three including Everly to grow up being best friends.

On pregnancy new, I am 24 weeks along and feeling pretty good. I am tired but other than that I have been feeling fine. Today, though, I had the weirdest thing happen. I was having my dress for my sister's wedding fitted and as I was standing there I got really hot, light headed and nauseous. I had to sit down and the woman doing my fitting brought me some water. I thought I was fine and right after she started pinning the dress I had to sit down again because things almost went completely black. She brought me a coke to see if that would help since the water didn't and it did the trick. After sitting down for about 10 minutes I was able to stand there for her to finish.

Hopefully I don't have another episode like that.

Ace and Ashlyn are awesome. Ashlyn is a little chunk! She also has started smiling and we try to laugh. I love when they start to really show their interest in us. It's like they are finally getting it.

Ace has a winter pageant at school on Tuesday. I am dying to see him singing. He has been singing jingle bells and tells us he gets to hold a bell, ha! I am going to die. I can not wait. These are the things I live for. I love seeing him doing cute stuff. I think it's so cool I get to experience these things 2 more times with the girls.

Not to much else is going on. I think these next two weeks are going to be a bit crazy with my sisters wedding coming up and the holidays so wish us luck that we get through it with as little craziness as possible!


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December 06, 2013 1 comments
This day last year my Mom passed away. I remember so many small details of that day that will forever stay in my head. The most stand out part of that day was when I was leaving the hospital with Adonis to take him home and I held him over her and she had been sleeping when I told her Adonis loved her I remember her turning her head and trying to really look at him. It was like she knew it'd be the last time. I could feel it. I could feel her pain. She moaned as if to say she loved him. It killed me. I wanted to stay there with him forever. I wanted to let her have that moment as long as possible but I knew I couldn't.
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Adonis always looking for Grandma
Those two had such a connection. My Mom was the perfect Grandma to him. She saw him everyday and helped me when I was tutoring kids and he loved that time with her. She was the first person he would smile at. He always got so excited when he saw my Mom. That relationship between them was one of the most amazing things for me to see. It made my Mom and I closer too. I remember when Adonis was just a couple months old and my Mom and I would go shopping or out to lunch and I told her how much closer being a mother made me to her. I knew what her love was for us and couldn't understand it till I had him. I could never understand the sacrifice or fear you have for your child. I could never understand the love or happiness. She sacrificed so much for us and was such a great Mom.

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One of my favorite pictures of my Mom with my brother, sister and myself. Disney! 
She was that Mom who was kind. She never wanted anyone to feel left out or hurt when our friends were over. She always tried to make things fun for us. She took us to Disney when my Dad had conferences in Orlando and it was some of mine and Ashley's best times with her. I will never forget her buying us the Mickey ice creams in Epcot and just letting us having fun. She tried to let us always be who we were, didn't judge and when we were upset she was there. We could all call her crying and she knew just what to say. She was so many things I hope to be to my kids. She wasn't perfect, she wasn't the best cook but she threw the best parties and we always had the best sleepovers. She made life fun for us. Her and my Dad gave us so much and I am incredibly grateful for that.

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Birthday dinner for Dad, Grandpa and Me when I was 18
When Branden and I had to be interviewed for our home study the social worker asked us about our childhoods. They were so different in a good way. I remember feeling so proud of how my parents were with us. They were fun, loving and positive. We got to experience so many different places, we were truly loved and cared for and my parents always taught us to think about others. They wanted us to be better than they were. We got to grow up being kids. My Mom was a huge part of this. She grew up in such a different way. She didn't have a lot and had a lot of heartache and wanted better for us. She tried to make everything special for us. Birthdays were the best, holidays were magical and vacations were always fun.
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Our last Festival of the Green Pig with the entire family
I can never tell my parents this now. I think over the years I have told them this but it's different now. I feel it's so much more important to get this out. To show all the good that came from them because they deserve to be recognized for that. We weren't raised to be perfect. We were raised to be good people. We were raised to love and be happy. My parents taught me so much and I appreciate so much of what they did. I love you both!


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December 03, 2013 No comments
Before I start I just saw this deal on Christmas cards on Zulily. I have been searching for a good deal and got sick of looking and just randomly saw this one. $19.99 for 50 cards, they also have deals for 75 and 100 cards. Check it out HERE. Ok back to blogging...

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I must say I really suck at this blogging thing lately.

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Ashlyn's first smiles on Thanksgiving
I swear one day I will get better, one day.

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Having two littles has been crazy. First of all a 2 year old and an infant is not always the best combination. Ace loves Ashlyn, sounds great, right?

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Well, it is until he wants to hold her and then tries to shove her off of him when he's "all done" then if she is in her Mamaroo he sometimes goes over and puts his arms on either side of her and shakes it back and forth, at least he isn't still trying to pick her up.
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Then there is a little disaster I call my husband. I am extremely fortunate when it comes to having a husband who helps me with the house, kids and cleaning. I swear one day I am going to go to work full time and let him be the stay at home Dad because he will get more done than I ever could.
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Anyway so he had an accident when pressure washing my uncle's roof and he busted his nose and hit his leg on a flower bed. It looked awful but the guy he is just ignored it and said it was fine. Then he went camping and his leg got infected from the lake. UGH! Talk about a nightmare. He went to the Urgent Care Tuesday night and got some strong antibiotics but they said to go to the ER if anything got worse and worse it got. The next night he told me he had two black spots on his leg so I made him go to the ER and they said he needed to be admitted. He spent Thanksgiving in a hospital bed. Such a bummer. I went there in the morning but he told me to go to my brothers and enjoy the day. I think he was happy to get to spend the day watching football, ha!
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He got released at 10:30 and has had to have his leg elevated ever since. Today he has been able to do some things here and there but overall he needs to keep it up. I swear in a lot of ways I feel like a single Mom because I had a toddler wanting my attention and a newborn who needs it constantly. I feel for my son the most because he is still getting used to having a baby sister and all the attention she needs. I hate that Branden and I can't split it as easily as we were at first. I really noticed some major acting out on Thanksgiving and it really upset me. I know eventually it will pass but I just want to be able to give him more one on one time but it's hard when I don't have my partner in crime able to pick up the slack or take Ashlyn while I do something with him.

Anyone else have trouble with their toddler acting out when a new sibling came along?



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November 30, 2013 1 comments
Ashlyn is two weeks old!

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Ashlyn in one of my outfits from when I was a baby
Height: 20 and 1/4 inches
Weight: 8lbs 3ozs

She is a full 2lbs more than Ace was at that point. How funny to think he was so much smaller yet she still seems so tiny.

Eating: 3 ozs about every 3 hours
Sleeping: She sleeps pretty well, naps most of the day and will sleep about 3 to 4 hour stretches at night.
Wearing: size newborn and some 0-3 months, diapers are still newborn
Firsts: Halloween, bath, plane ride


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November 03, 2013 No comments
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