Perfectly Imperfect Mom: Ashlyn

Since Ashlyn is adopted we talk about adoption randomly and are very open with the children. Now that Ashlyn is getting older I try to talk about it a little more than before because I know she is going to start understanding things.

Ashlyn and YaYa in October 2016

Tonight we were reading a book from her first mommy called Wherever You Are: My Love Will Find You. I love this book so much. It is seriously such a great book for children who are adopted. The book is read by her YaYa so in the beginning she says this is a book for you Ashlyn from your Mama YaYa. It's a great way to remind her that she has two mommies and how lucky she is to also have two sisters. Tonight I told Ashlyn that she was in YaYa's tummy. When I asked her whose tummy she was she goes JoJo's. I was like no you were in YaYa's. She laughed and said no JoJo's, Gavin's Mommy. She thought it was so funny. This is the interesting thing about an adoption. We are learning how to talk to our children about it and when is the right time to tell them certain things because we aren't quite sure they will get it. This was a time when I realized I really needed to make Ashlyn a book about her adoption and family so it's less confusing. Another funny thing the girls do is when we talk about Ashlyn's sisters she will then ask who are Everly's sisters and I will tell her you are. She doesn't get yet that she has two extra sisters so then they both just say they have two more sisters. I know as time goes on things will make more sense to them but it is funny to see how they process things. Ace gets everything way more than the girls and seemed to understand it a lot earlier too. I think the girls have a harder time because they don't understand why one has something the other doesn't. They don't really know how to separate themselves from each other in that way yet.
I am curious how other families talk about adoption with their toddlers. I never want it to be a shock to Ashlyn so we have always talked about it, talked and met up with her first mom so hopefully it will just be her norm. facebook ♥ instagram ♥ twitter ♥ pinterest ♥ bloglovin

April 26, 2017 No comments

Better late than never right? We did a joint party again for the girls this year. Originally I thought I wouldn't get around to doing one because things had been so crazy but Ashlyn kept talking about having a birthday party so I threw one together last minute. I called my best friend Kat and told her to come help me (because I don't do parties without her) and she was more than happy to help with the festivities. I planned it during her girls Spring Break and St. Patrick's Day. So perfect!

I wanted to do an early party because that is when my kids are at their best. This also made food easier and more difficult because it wasn't really breakfast or lunch time. We decided on donuts, muffins, cupcakes, confetti popcorn and fruit. Drinks we easy since we had water and juice.

Since we have a large front yard on a cul de sac we put everything out front for the kids. I wanted to have a bunch of activities for them to do so I knew for sure we would have our Little Tikes bounce house out (seriously best purchase we ever made when Ace was a toddler). I also bought a bunch of crayons from Amazon, this bubble machine, sidewalk chalk and a big unicorn coloring poster.

Kat and her oldest daughter made the cupcakes. I bought little unicorns from Target's dollar spot. They worked out perfect as little toppers. I also got the favors from there too. They had wood unicorn and robot painting kits. Seriously, I love Target's dollar spot. I also got unicorn stamps and sunglasses for the girls there.

I picked out these dresses in purple and aqua for the girls to wear for the party. Then she put on this dress and then Everly decided it wasn't happening so she wear some random pair of shorts and t-shirt. I finally got her to agree to put her dress on for cake pictures and she put a Mickey zip up on over it. Such a stinker. I also realized I didn't get any great pictures of the girls together but I did at school for Everly's actual birthday so you get what you get, right?

Everly's Dress

Cart

This picture cracks me up. They were waiting for us to sing to them and were like hurry up!

Bubble Machine / Ashlyn's Dress

Bounce House

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April 06, 2017 No comments

January 23, 2017 No comments

Ahhh I can not believe Summer is almost over. It seriously flew by. We had a lot of fun traveling, seeing friends and the kids loved camp. Now we are onto a new chapter of life. All of our kids will be in school! I can't believe the girls start preschool full time and Ace is going into Kindergarten. It seems surreal. I feel like I need to update on the kids so I don't forget these ages.

I was just looking at pictures of the girls when they were babies and it seems so far away yet it could have been yesterday with how fast time flew. In so many ways I miss having those two little babies playing on the floor but I love how fun they are now.

Their personalities are so fun to watch the older they get. They are so distinct from one another too.

Everly is very sensitive. She is also hysterical. Such a clown and once she warms up to you she is the funniest person ever. She also is my cleaner and likes things a certain way. If it's not she gets pissed. She also is a really good little girl because she listens really well and likes to help. She is also very physically sturdy and can do so much. It's crazy to watch her do a flip. I still can't get over how she has always been advanced physically.

Ashlyn is very much my sweet, goofy girl. I always say she dances to the beat of her own drum and I love it. I love that she sees flowers and wants to pick them. She isn't in a rush or aggressive. She likes to be snuggled and is just such a good girl. That being said she is so mischievous. It kind of makes us laugh and roll our eyes like "that's Ashlyn being Ashlyn" because she has always been this way. She also is very silly with her movements. I can't even really explain it but she does the funniest things because she is so goofy. She always has the sweetest smile too. Some of the girls' favorite sayings are "Hold you" which means hold me, "My do it" which is I do it and my favorite of Ashlyn's because of the way she says it is "this is mine." I wish I could relay how it is said because it's hilarious.

Then there is my big boy Ace. He is such a good boy. He definitely has his moments but he has just matured so much. He amazes me with how much of a helper he is if I need him when we go somewhere or helping the girls with things. He is a rule follower so that helps a lot. He is still a big talker and loud so that can be interesting. I can not wait to see how he does in school this year. We have started working on a few words with him and he does really well. He has always been a smart cookie but more importantly a sweet guy. Oh sweet Summer we will miss you. facebook ♥ instagram ♥ twitter ♥ pinterest ♥ bloglovin

August 13, 2016 1 comments

July 05, 2016 No comments

If you are new here and want to start from the beginning of The Story of Our Girls go HERE.

When Ashlyn's due date was a week away we planned to fly out to California. We knew this was our best shot at getting to be at her birth. I was super stressed before leaving because I had never left Ace longer than a weekend and we really only left him with my cousins or sister. Branden's Mom was kind enough to come down to stay with Ace so he could be in his own home and we would have someone to take care of the dogs. We also didn't know how long we would be in California so this just made the most sense.

By this time things were getting tense, our daughters bio Mom had an awful OBGYN and the day before we were to fly out she basically told her she somehow wasn't as dilated or effaced as she was the week before. We both were upset. I felt horrible for her because this doctor was so disrespectful to her because she was placing Ashlyn for adoption. After we talked I had a meltdown. I was worried about being in California for weeks and being away from Ace, I was worried about whether we should stay home and change our flight and chance missing Ashlyn's birth or just go and possibly be waiting another week or two in California for Ashlyn to get here. No answer really felt right. I called my friend Christel in tears. She basically suggested just going to California because chances are the baby would come within the week. Branden also wanted to just go because changing our flights could end up being a bigger hassle and we may miss Ashlyn's birth. This was also difficult because I was pregnant and extra hormonal so it wasn't like I could even be logical about it all. Looking back Ace was going to be fine here with his Grammy and we would have been fine spending some extra time just us in California. That is probably my one regret was not being able to fully enjoy the week before Ashlyn was born because I was so stressed. We flew into California on October 11th. We met up with Ashlyn's bio Mom and had lunch. We both were so excited to see each other. We talked about the kids and how she was feeling and how I was feeling. We also went over to her house and hung out and looked at pictures of her when she was a baby. After awhile we went back to our hotel and passed out. The time change made it really hard to adjust. I honestly don't really remember much about what we did that weekend. I know we were too freaked out to go to Disneyland in case Ashlyn decided to make an appearance. We did drive around the PCH but really that weekend was a blur for me. Tuesday was an OBGYN visit and the new Doctor was amazing. He schedule an induction date (something the other doctor would not even consider). He didn't think she would make it to the induction date which was the following Monday I think but we had it in there as a just in case. He understood the situation and was very sweet. This man was the right doctor for our daughters first Mommy.

Another one of our friends came into town to be with all of us during Ashlyn's birth but mostly for Ashlyn's bio Mom, knowing this was going to be a very difficult event. We all spent time together and then Thursday we met up for lunch. Branden and I were supposed to go view the hospital after lunch so they went to the store and walking to try to coax Ashlyn out.

Later that night I was feeling very overwhelmed. I missed Ace so much and I didn't think Ashlyn was ever coming. Branden and I went to a pier and walked around and he tried to keep my mind off the stress. I ended up breaking down and crying that night over everything. I barely slept. Then early in the morning, maybe 5am I get the call! Ashlyn is on her way. I jump out of bed and start getting ready really quickly and wake Branden up. We probably didn't need to be up and out of there so early but I felt like I needed to be there. Like it was wrong for us to just stay at the hotel and wait for there to be any progress. Now looking back I wonder if it would have been better for us to have given Ashlyn's bio Mom some more time to just get in the hospital and have some alone time.

We grabbed some breakfast let family know and got to the hospital bright and early. Ashlyn's bio Mom was in labor and delivery and we all basically just hung out for the day for Ashlyn to make her arrival. Branden and I decided to grab lunch at one point thinking it would still be a few more hours. Of course right before we finished lunch I got a text saying she was at 10cm but to not rush. I didn't even read the second part and bolted out of the cafeteria and text them we were coming. Then I read the whole thing and they said not to rush they still needed to get the room ready. After they were all ready for Ashlyn's bio Mom to push I started having a minor panic attack. My mind was racing. I wanted to make sure I got video and pictures of the moment Ashlyn is laid on her first Mommy's tummy and them together. That's all I could think about. I needed that for Ashlyn and for her First Mommy. The person who is giving me this amazing child. After pushing for a bit the doctor said Ashlyn was sunny side up and had to turn her. He did that and she came right out. I will never forget seeing her little face for the first time. She had the chubbiest little cheeks and seriously the cutest face. She was the most perfect little newborn.

I still can not explain those feelings from that day. My heart could have exploded but also broke into a million pieces all at once. It was the definition of bitter sweet. To watch my friend hand her daughter to me and call me her Mommy still to this day makes me feel like the most honored person in the world. For her to trust me with this person she loves so much because she knew I was meant to be her Mommy is unbelievable. Seeing her look at her from across the room when I was putting a headband on her head and knowing she was hurting broke my heart. That moment is forever engraved in my mind. I never want to forget these moments because I want Ashlyn to know she loves her so much. She wanted her more than she will ever understand but made the biggest sacrifice she will ever have made. Then I watched my husband hold Ashlyn and there was nothing like it. He bonded with her instantly. Nothing was different from his bond with Ace and Everly after their births. It was incredible. I didn't know if it would be the same for him but it was.

If you want to read a more detailed post about Ashlyn's birth story you can HERE. Stay tuned for the rest of our time in California. facebook ♥ instagram ♥ twitter ♥ pinterest ♥ bloglovin

May 29, 2016 No comments

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