Perfectly Imperfect Mom

I remember when I was little and summer started. It was the best. Sleeping in, playing in the pool all day, going to the movies on rainy days. It felt like the best times. As you get older its rare to have summers off. Well, now that I am pregnant and my nannying jobs are done pretty much till after the baby comes I get a "real" summer. I have been sleeping in a bit, not much since we have our dogs waking us up but if Bran feeds them I do get to sleep in a bit. I can go to my parents house and hang out in their pool whenever I want and will probably go to a few movies on Bran's days off.
I also went today and got an Icee! I love Icee's in the summer. I went to the library to get a good summer read too. I never get books from the library but I figured why waste money when I can get them for free. I was surprised they had the one I wanted so I was super excited.
Not to much else is going on here. Just being super lazy and hanging out at home.

I am prepping the bubs diapers!!!! This is when you know you have no life, you are super excited about washing cloth diapers.
This past weekend has been pretty busy. My aunts came into town for my uncles funeral which ws Saturday. It was really sad and kind of rough. My Mom was a disaster, which is understandable. Then Sunday my sister and I went to my parents house and met up with everyone and hung out and had a bar-b-q which was really nice. It felt like old times. Bran had to work so that was a bummer.
We were supposed to have our pregnancy photo shoot Saturday morning but I had Branden cancel it. I was to upset over my uncle. I couldn't even sleep the night before the funeral and when I did sleep I had bad dreams. After saying our goodbyes it has been a little easier to sleep.
Next weekend is Father's Day! I need to figure out a gift for Branden and my Dad. I am thinking something to do with golf for Bran. We are also going to the Keys so that should be fun. Not to much else is going on except I have a doctor apt. on Wednesday and we were supposed to meet the pediatrician on Thursday but I don't think Bran scheduled his day right so I might have to reschedule.

Today I found clothes for our pregnancy photo shoot! Yay!
We also got the crib mattress, 2 sets of prefolds, a bummis cover, spray for the wipes, snappi's and his angel care monitor! I was so excited to get the mattress in his room and the crib set up. Not like he can even sleep in it for awhile and most of the bedding will be removed till he is older but it was still fun to set up.

32 weeks 5 days

Today has been a rough day. I got into a argument with Branden this morning and just felt so frustrated with him even after he apologized. It wasn't anything major but I was feeling so emotional. I ended up going to the mall to see if I could find a skirt for our maternity shoot on Saturday and found nothing came home and everything was fine. We went in the baby's room and again cleaned out some things and then just hung out for a bit. He had to go to work early and I was bummed I wasted time being upset with him. I always hate feeling mad with him because we usually never argue over anything major and our fights aren't usually too major so we don't stay upset long and I like to just enjoy our time together. Anyway after he left for work, I ate lunch and headed to my Dad's funeral home to meet up with my Mom, Aunt, her Mom and sister. My sister was going through paper work and things for my uncle's funeral one Saturday. At one point my sister played a song my aunt said she and my uncle would always play and dance to in the kitchen. She started crying and said I miss him already, he was my best friend for 35 years. This has been stuck in my head all day. It broke my heart. I can not even imagine losing Branden. I love him so much and he is my best friend. He is there for me for everything and is my biggest support. He has done so much for me and I just love who he is as a person and a man. I sometimes feel like I got incredibly lucky when I hear some woman  talk about their husbands or significant others that treat them horribly. I can not even imagine living a life like that because Branden has this huge heart and just cares about me so much.
The whole thing today just made me realize how short life is and how much I do not want to waste time on being upset over something so petty. I know I am hormonal and get upset easier but I should have just accepted his apology and moved on then and there. I just get upset with myself when I hold a grudge even if it is only for an hour and then I am over it. I usually try to not be that way with Branden, especially because he is so good to me and I just really love what we have and I do see how short life can be.
I guess another part of me is just feel emotional over losing my uncle. I am so sad for his wife and sons. I don't know what state they will be in on Saturday. I know his younger son is more of the strong silent type while his older one is much more emotional and will break down easier. I am just glad my Mom's sisters are coming into town today and tomorrow and everyone can be together. I am also so grateful that we got to have a nice time with him at my baby shower and at the baby reveal party, where my one aunt from Ohio and my other aunt from Tampa were both able to be there so that was nice that they got to see him recently.
I guess I am just rambling on but I had to get this out. Hopefully I won't feel so sad all night.